then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I touched a dick in church today
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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