Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
