ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
