Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
