U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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