You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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