Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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