You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
