fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
