We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
