dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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