As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
