Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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