it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
