You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
