I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
