U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
well you can't waste a boner
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
