the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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