New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
