I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
