So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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