I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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