Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
