Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
