No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i already hear my dad disowning me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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