My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
