You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
