Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also, beer. Big fan.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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