did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
