you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
