Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
