Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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