WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
