He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
