angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
