; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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