It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
