Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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