just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
