there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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