im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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