If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
