the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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