Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
