If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
