I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
