i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
