the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
