Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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