i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
