The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
