That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
