She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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